Santa has been running his mouth about me on the World Wide Web recently.  Well, this is my rebuttal.

Dear Santa:

Thank you for blowing the whistle on me.  Or, did I blow your whistle?  And, I also wanted to thank you for spreading the word that, yes, I am a very naughty girl.  You see, while you were spreading the word, I was spreading your ass cheeks and giving you a nice little toy soldier of your own.  Ahhh, you said you liked it but, now you deny it?  Like anyone is going to believe you?  You’re the guy that promises all little boys and girls things that you cannot deliver!  At least I do what I say I am going to do… and more.

Oh, and before I forget, thanks for stuffing my stocking last year…  One request, however.  Could  you pack it like you really mean it this year?  I mean, really.  Skimping on the content is not conducive to getting into my good graces, or spaces!  As I am sure you do for Mrs. Claus, PLEASE, fill ‘er up this time!

Now, pay very close attention, please.  These are a few of my favorite things, and I would greatly appreciate your cooperation and delivering of the below…

A new headset would be really nice, Santa!  No, you pervert, not a mushroom or helmet.  I said a headset!  My neck is killing me and I am tired of spending money on massages!  Back to the head (set) … dream on, fucker!

More panties for all of my little panty boys.  Yes, I know you wear them, too!!  Hysterical… I knew it the whole time!  Anyone that works just one day a year and hides from the general population the rest of the year… yep, definitely a panty sniffer.  I mean, panty whore!  Why else are you hiding?

I really want a strap on!  HaHa, I knew you’d like this one!  Get a damn hearing aid, Santa.  I said, STRAP ON, not a CLAP ON!  I am perfectly capable of turning lights on and off… I really want to give it to some little submissive bitch right up his little pussy though.  I know, I know… you’re first in line!  Make it a big one… or, you will pay, this I promise!

I will be finishing my list within a day or two, so please stop back by… but, before I go…

Oh never mind, you never listen.  Like with most men, it is all about the glisten!!  Dammit, I meant Blitzen.  And, Vixen… And, Prancer… And, Dasher…  And, Rudolph; admittedly my favorite!  A tiny little reindeer with a red blinking nose… hmmm… tell the truth about that blinking red nose, Santa!  On second thought, don’t!

Sincerely,

Lyndee

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 6th, 2007 at 7:34 pm and is filed under InMyWords. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.